One verse from my Bible study lesson earlier today has really stuck in my mind. "The son of Carmi was Achar, the troubler of Israel, who transgressed in the accursed thing." 1 Chronicles 2:7. In this chapter of Chronicles the family tree of Israel begins it most reads like this "the sons of Judah were. . . the descendants of Caleb were. . ." Every now and then there is a short statement about someone. Wow, I would not want to be remember as the trouble maker, but what my mind keeps asking is what would it say about Jamie. Would it just read the descendants of Josh were Jackson, Jeffrey, and Jamie born to him by Suzanne or has she impacted some one's life so much that a statement would be written. I don't know what it would say, but I just hope that her short life is not forgotten and impacts many.
I am not doing well. . . . . .actually I feel pretty good right now, because a neighbor called and we haven't talked in sometime and it is always nice to catch up with a friend. But these last few weeks have been very hard emotionally for me. I think I am maybe a little depressed. No need to worry though. I am not laying in bed all day refusing to do anything. I just don't enjoy much. I am still doing all the things I need and should do and the things that I enjoy (working out, scrap booking, reading and such). There is just a heaviness and a cloud hanging over me. So, pray for me and Josh and the boys. I don't like missing out on the fun.
These are the verses I choose to cling to and believe during this time. "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7"