Friday, October 29, 2010

Laughter & Tears

The new title and look is here.  After thinking and thinking it just came to me last night in bed as once again I was not sleeping.  I have been pondering Ecclesiastes chapter three for several weeks.  It is the scripture theme of the table a friend and I are decorating for the ladies holiday banquet at our church.  I picked this passage because this past year I have really come to see that there is a time for everything. 

There is a song that I have enjoyed listening to on the radio lately.  I don't know the name of the song or who sings it, but I sure to like it.  It talks about different things happening in one's life, but that it won't be long until every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.  And we will all be there together singing holy holy to the Lord.  For me and others who have lost children we will get to praise the Lord along side our little angles. 

Will you being standing at the feet of Jesus one day singing praises?  Will you be in heaven or hell?  How does one know where he will spend eternity?  Just ask yourself do I believe that Jesus is the son of God and that He came to earth as a baby, lived a sinless life and died on the cross for my sin? If yes confess that in prayer to God and you will be saved.  Some great verse to read are Romans 3:23, 6: 23, 5:8, 10: 9.

I will be changing to laughter& in a few days.  If you get an email each time I post there should be no changes for you. 

Monday, October 25, 2010

New look

I have been playing around with new backgrounds and layouts for this blog. It may change many times as I try to decide what I like. I also would like a new title, but am having trouble coming up with one. If you have any ideals let me know.

Saturday, October 23, 2010


What do you want? More sleep? More money? More time? More friends? More power? More queit moments? That question was brought up yesterday several times. First I received an email about the up coming sermon series at our church. Over the next four weeks we will be hearing about what Jesus wants. Then last night Josh and I watched a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond. On the show Raymond made a list of goals to accomplish before he dies. It was pretty funny. He wanted to eat certain foods and never throw up again. I said to Josh I just want to go a whole day and not hear anyone cry (Jeffrey cried a lot yesterday evening and into the early hours of this morning). As I was unable to sleep last night I thought what do I want out of life? And what does God want from me during this life? Do they match up? Will I allow God to work in my life to accomplish His goals? I don't know the answers to those questions. It is hard to know if I am doing God's will or my own. I probably think to much--sometimes I feel I miss out because I am trying to hard to figure it all out. It is hard not to want the things of this world. We can easily get caught up in worldly desires without even realizing it. I choose today to choose God's desires. What do you choose?

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher that the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

If You Take A Mouse To The Movies

First today I would like to finish up my thoughts from my last post. I only remember one another thing I wanted to post about. Several weeks ago some ladies from our Sunday school class and I hosted a girls night at the Ronald McDonald House. It was a chance for the moms staying there to eat some yummy snacks and just hang out with other ladies while their children were watching a movie in the other room. Wow, it was so hard for me not to just broke down when a couple of ladies shared their stories. I saw photos of a little, little baby girl who is at Texas Children's trying to live. I felt very honored that these ladies opened up and shared, because they could have just eaten the snacks, played the games we brought and put on that smile we seem to give everyone even when we are in so much pain on the inside. One lady shared that one day she over heard a nurse say that she was so thankful and blessed to have a healthy child of her own unlike the ones she was around at work. The mom that told this story was just amazing. She said, who can say I am not just as blessed because I have been given the chance to love my baby even though he is not "perfect." I agree with what she said, but I also can't help but say "thank you Lord for healing Jamie and taking her home with You. Thank You that she doesn't have to struggle to hold on to life and go through surgery after surgery. It almost seems wrong to say that, but I think that is just another way God is giving me peace.

Have you ever read If You Take A Mouse To The Movies? The boys love to read that book and the other ones as well. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and If You Take A Mouse To School. The book go like this: If you take a mouse to the movies he will want some popcorn. Then he will want to string the popcorn and do a lot of other things until you are once again back at the movie to start all over. As I was getting ready yesterday morning I thought that is my life lately. I feel sad and down and then a series of events happen usually getting worst before it gets better and then the sad moment comes again and I start all over. You can most likely relate in some way. Maybe it is not emotional for you. Maybe you decide to eat healthier and you are doing good, then you have bunko and so you will just eat bad that evening, then your husband takes you to dinner so you have too many chips and salsa and then your back to eating bad. A week later you decide to eat healthier and you start all over again. How do we break that cycle? I can't give you the answer, but God gave me mine yesterday. God spoke to my heart during my ladies Bible study yesterday morning and then I heard something on the radio (KSBJ) that reinforced it. So over the course of yesterday I realized that I don't have to figure out why I feel the way I do. Thus, I don't have to come up with a plan to make it all better. All, I have to do is say Lord, I don't understand what is going on in my life right now, but You do and I trust You. I also realized that I do not have to find the right words to pray. I can just sit with Jesus and the Holy Spirit will pray for me. And so many of you are praying along with the ladies in my Bible study--thank you. Thank you for raising your shield of faith to protect me from the devil's darts (Ephesians 6: 16).

"But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13: 5-6

Friday, October 15, 2010

I need a drink!

Sonic is calling my name and if the boys wake up from their naps before happy hour is over we will most likely be there. I however, will not wake them. We have plans this evening and they need all the sleep they can get for a late night out. So, don't worry when I say I need a drink--I just mean a root beer from sonic.

This day has not been what I planned. When I took the boys to preschool this morning we found out that the school had been closed for the day. Apparently there is a gas leak, thus no school. Jackson said, "we are luck." How is it that a preschooler who loves school already is excited about missing a day? On our way home Jackson made us a new plan for today. We biked to the park, which is really fun now, because Jackson rides his bike and I only have Jeffrey in the bike trailer. Two boys in the trailer was getting to be to much for my legs. It is such a beautiful day and cool enough that we wore sweatshirts. When we got back home Jackson decided that we could all play two hands of Uno and then I could do something I needed to get done and then repeat. I don't know where he gets his need to plan everything out--ha ha. Every other Friday is a day just for me--that was today. I look forward to this day to spend time doing what I want and not necessarily what should be done. I was a little worried about today because, my plan was to do some blogging (there is a lot on my mind), finish Jamie's scrapbook pages (almost done) and go to this new home store. I don't know the name of the store, but it is where Linen's -n-things used to be. It is support to be like Kirkland's, but bigger and better. Why was I worried? To much time to think about Jamie. Well, God fixed that for me with a gas leak.

The things that have been on my mind this week:
  • Philippians 1:3-6 "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I read this earlier this week in one of my Bible study lessons. It is a great verse and I read it before thinking, "I'm so glad God is not done with me and that He will keep working on me." But, when I read it this time all I could think was why was God done with Jamie so quickly? Now, I know that that thought is from Satan. He really does do battle in our minds. The truth is that God is still using Jamie's life in mine and yours and will until Christ returns.

  • On Wed. evening Josh and I attended a prayer service for Lin Moore. She has stage IV cancer. During the service I prayed with my whole heart for God to remove the cancer from her spine, pelvis, femur and to remove the fluid in her lungs and to dissolve the blood clot in her arm. But, I also asked myself, "how can I pray for healing? I did it once before and it did not work." Again Satan is putting thoughst in my head that I don't want there. The truth is that God did heal Jamie in the best possible way. I will continue to pray for Lin to be healed and also that her family will have peace if that healing is like Jamie's.

  • I have been thinking a lot about being in Romania last March. That was right before our life changed forever. I was pregnant and so excited, loving on children in Romania. Several of us on the trip had to leave early, because of an airline strike. It was a hard and difficult decision to make, but we know it was God's plan for us. I realized on the flight home that my purpose for the trip had been accomplished and I could go home knowing I had done what God wanted from me. I don't know then it was also a time of preparation. God was teaching me that He had a plan and was working it out regardless of my plans.

Well, Jackson is up so I will have to save my other thought for another time.

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms." James 5:13

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Bedtime Prayers

Well, this is a first--two post in one day. I had someone email me and ask what the Nazarite vow was. I am sure their are others also wondering the same thing. You can read about the Nazarite vow in Numbers 6:1-21. Basically, a man or woman chooses to take a vow of separation to consecrate himself to the Lord. This could be a vow for a limited time or for life. They were not allowed to drink or eat from fruit of the vine (grapes, wine, ect.). They did not cut their hair, which was an outward sign of the consecration. And they could not touch a dead body even if a family member died. It was a time of dedicating oneself to the Lord.
After putting Jeffrey to bed this evening I went to Jackson's room to say bedtime prayers. He wanted me to pray tonight. Sometimes he prayer, sometimes we say the Lord's prayer together and sometimes I pray. So, I prayed opened my eyes and Jackson looked at me and said what about the baby and then he began to cry. Trying very hard not to lose it I asked if he wanted me to pray for baby Myra ( we visited a friend today that just had a baby). He said yes and so I did pray. I then asked Jackson why are you crying? He said, I'm not crying as he wiped his tears on his pillow. We talked for some time and both agreed that is was sad that our friend got to have a baby girl and we don't. I asked him if he want to pray for a baby girl and he said tomorrow night. I had to laugh. I then thought we need to talk about that God doesn't always give you want you want and that He knows what is best. I tried, but Jackson was not open to hear anything about that tonight. It was such a sweet time just laying in bed with Jackson and knowing that both our hearts were hurting for Jamie. Jackson has such a big heart and loves very deeply. Sometimes I wish he was younger like Jeffrey and thus would not remember and be effect as much. But then I know that this hard time in his young life will make him a stronger man one day and will give him character and a story to tell.

A Sacrifical Vow

I am currently attending a Bible study at church called Walking with God. For the next two weeks we are in spiritual boot camp. During these two weeks we are to enter into a vow of separation to God. The vow will be to abstain from something that brings you "natural joy." As I was reading about men and women of the Bible taking the Nazarite vow I knew in my heart what God was asking me to abstain from and I cried. However, it is now day two for me and I am doing good. Although, I have found myself turning to other things instead of focusing on God when I feel the desire to do what I am abstaining from. Last night Josh said, "you are giving up a good habit and replacing it with a bad one." We laughed, but that is exactly what I did last night. So, today when I feel the desire I am going to choose to pray instead of fulling that time with something else. Pray that I can do this for two weeks.
On another note. For several weeks I have been thinking about changing up my blog. I am going to come up with a new name, background, photos, ect. At first I felt bad, but after talking with a friend I see that I am not forgetting Jamie, but just moving on in life. My friend said, it is a good sign that I have got to this point. So keep a look out for my new design.

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Fire Battalion Chief Joseph Pfeifer said at the 9-11 exhibition at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History in 2002, "My definition of a hero is one of ordinary people doing the ordinary right thing at an extraordinary time." As I read this quote earlier today I thought of Biblical men and women that were just ordinary people who obeyed the call of God on their lives and became heroes. Moses, Joshua, Noah, Rahab, Mary, and Paul to name a few. We each can be a hero to someone by doing the ordinary right thing of obeying God and sharing His love with those around us. It maybe small, it maybe big, only one may notice or thousands may take notice, but it doesn't matter when one obeys God He notices and that is what counts. What ordinary thing will you do this week?