First today I would like to finish up my thoughts from my last post. I only remember one another thing I wanted to post about. Several weeks ago some ladies from our Sunday school class and I hosted a girls night at the Ronald McDonald House. It was a chance for the moms staying there to eat some yummy snacks and just hang out with other ladies while their children were watching a movie in the other room. Wow, it was so hard for me not to just broke down when a couple of ladies shared their stories. I saw photos of a little, little baby girl who is at Texas Children's trying to live. I felt very honored that these ladies opened up and shared, because they could have just eaten the snacks, played the games we brought and put on that smile we seem to give everyone even when we are in so much pain on the inside. One lady shared that one day she over heard a nurse say that she was so thankful and blessed to have a healthy child of her own unlike the ones she was around at work. The mom that told this story was just amazing. She said, who can say I am not just as blessed because I have been given the chance to love my baby even though he is not "perfect." I agree with what she said, but I also can't help but say "thank you Lord for healing Jamie and taking her home with You. Thank You that she doesn't have to struggle to hold on to life and go through surgery after surgery. It almost seems wrong to say that, but I think that is just another way God is giving me peace.
Have you ever read If You Take A Mouse To The Movies? The boys love to read that book and the other ones as well. If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and If You Take A Mouse To School. The book go like this: If you take a mouse to the movies he will want some popcorn. Then he will want to string the popcorn and do a lot of other things until you are once again back at the movie to start all over. As I was getting ready yesterday morning I thought that is my life lately. I feel sad and down and then a series of events happen usually getting worst before it gets better and then the sad moment comes again and I start all over. You can most likely relate in some way. Maybe it is not emotional for you. Maybe you decide to eat healthier and you are doing good, then you have bunko and so you will just eat bad that evening, then your husband takes you to dinner so you have too many chips and salsa and then your back to eating bad. A week later you decide to eat healthier and you start all over again. How do we break that cycle? I can't give you the answer, but God gave me mine yesterday. God spoke to my heart during my ladies Bible study yesterday morning and then I heard something on the radio (KSBJ) that reinforced it. So over the course of yesterday I realized that I don't have to figure out why I feel the way I do. Thus, I don't have to come up with a plan to make it all better. All, I have to do is say Lord, I don't understand what is going on in my life right now, but You do and I trust You. I also realized that I do not have to find the right words to pray. I can just sit with Jesus and the Holy Spirit will pray for me. And so many of you are praying along with the ladies in my Bible study--thank you. Thank you for raising your shield of faith to protect me from the devil's darts (Ephesians 6: 16).
"But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13: 5-6