I have so many emotions running through me today. I have peace yet don't understand how when life is so uncertain for Jamie right now. Is it truly peace I have or am I just in denial of the whole situation? I was reading another lady's blog (about 2 yrs. ago she was given a bad Dx for her child) and it was a comfort to read her say almost the same thing. She said it must be peace that passes all understanding, because it just doesn't make any sense. I know God can give me peace, but I have never had to deal with such a trail as this so I don't know if God has given me this incredible peace or if I am just not facing the issues at hand? Just yesterday I told a friend that I know everything is going to be fine. At that moment I meant Jamie would be ok and we would bring a sweet little sister home to the boys and life will be good. However, over the past 24 hours I have realized that it may not be in God's plan for us to bring Jamie home and it still will be fine and life will be good, because God is God!
I can not pray today because I can not pray for God's will. I don't want God's plan I want my plans. I believe God can give us our miracle, but I just don't know if it is in His plans. So I ask you to pray for me today and that God's will and heart will become my heart.
On a different note. We had a great time at the YAM Sunday school class picnic today. The picture below is of all the kiddos.