Monday, April 5, 2010

Hour of Prayer

A friend of mine goes to her Catholic church every Sunday night to prayer for an hour. She invited me along last night. We went into a small chapel--it set 12-15 people. I have never gone to church just to pray. I go for worship service, Sunday school, Bible studies, meals, ect. But when she asked me to go I thought this is what I need. After we arrived we each took a seat. I took a moment to look around--it was beautiful. It was so quiet and a little cold. One other man was there praying. Several others came and went in our hour there. I then began to pray asking God what He wanted to tell me in this quiet hour of prayer. But then I realized I was talking to Him to much. So I just set and tried to quiet my heart and mind. I noticed a daily prayer book in the seat in front of me. I picked it up and turned to the day's prayer. The first reading was from Psalm 118 which include, "This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." I read the other reading from John and the prayers, but rejoice is what my mind kept repeating. I took my journal I had with me and wrote at the top of one page "reasons I have to rejoice through this trial." I set for a moment to let God speak to my heart and then I just began to write:
  • I have a little girl
  • God is working in me
  • God is & will be glorified
  • I am sharing in Christ's suffering
  • God made Jamie perfect
  • Josh and I are being drawn closer together
  • I am loved by so many--family, friends & strangers
  • God loves me!
  • What an incredible opportunity to share God's love with others

I never would have thought I could find this many reason to rejoice in something so painful. I am very thankful for that hour last night. Don't get me wrong I see that there are reasons to rejoice, but I also cried and begged God to heal Jamie and just let everything go back to "normal." I cried thinking I may never get the chance to watch Jamie put on my makeup or walk around in my heels. I am still praying for God to heal Jamie completely and to shock the doctors.

I have several appointments coming up. This Wed. I have an appointment to see an ENT for my nose bleeds. I have gotten nose bleeds with all my pregnancies, but it is really bad this time and my OB thinks I should see an ENT. Pray that it is a simple problem that can be easily fixed. Next Tuesday, April 13 I go back to see my OB and the perinatal specialist. Also please remember my mother law, Judy in your prayers she will be having a pacemaker put in on April 15.

Much love,



  1. It is nice to read your blogs. You never know how they will touch someone else. Maybe that is just what they needed but with another problem. Thanks
    Janet Stribling

  2. Dear Sweet Suzanne,
    I am grieving with you and your family over the recent news you got regarding little Jamie. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I know our journey through Hannah's cancer battle last year was totally different from what you are facing with Jamie, but I did learn some things that apply to any trial we are experiencing. The most important thing I learned is that God will meet you at every point of need along this unwanted journey. Even if you can't possibly bear what next week may bring, or next month, or at her birth, or years down the road, etc., I promise you that God will be there every step of the way! Another important lesson I learned is to trust God just for each day as it comes, which is actually how I think He wants us to live anyway, with or without battles. People would say to me, "I don't know how you're doing this," and I would remind them that it's because God gave me what I needed to go through the battle, but it's not their battle, so they don't have that same grace needed to walk through it. But when and if they do have their own battle to go through, God will then give them what they need to go through it. Even as I write this, I am still so humbled by all that God taught me thought the journey. I know you know all of this, and that you have a wonderful support group of family and friends who will minister to and encourage you and your fmaily, but sometimes I think it's just good to hear it again. Something else I learned that was really hard for me was to let other people help me, even if I felt I could handle it on my own. I learned that it is God's way of allowing them to grieve with you and to minister to you and to bless you. I know you know that nothing about Jamie is a mistake, and I believe the reason we are allowed to go through these trials is for us to ultimately give God the glory, whatever the circumstances. And what I've read in your blogs confirms that you are already doing that. As one of Jamie's committed prayer warriors, I will continue to lift her, you and your family up daily to the Father. Bless you all.
    Your cousin, Brenda

  3. Thanks Brenda, that was exactly what I need to read at this moment. God is working!